Angel and Demon

Nope, it's not the prequel to Dan Brown's novel. I actually got the idea from surfing the web about "puppy biting" and came across the phrase "angel days and devil days". This morning was a devil morning - didn't get any work done, had 3 accidents all in the space of 3 hours, and the biting was just getting....arrgh.

However, in desperation I turned to the Dog Whisperer's site, and I think what I got from it is more often than not, it's the human that has to be trained. Basically, we have to establish ourselves as the leader of the pack, and there are certain things you need to do to establish that. Otherwise, if the dog does not see a leadership role happening, they will step in to fill the void. (Gee, apparently I may have the same problem at work - in both cases I need "subtle assertiveness". The Dog Whisperer calls it "calm assertiveness".)

How to achieve such a state? The leader should not exhibit nervousness, panic, and tension. Calmness, consistency, and confidence (not aggression) is key.....basically I have to get to a Zen place. In the dog's world, this is what projects leadership. Or be more like Oprah.

Anyways, I must do things that the den mother would normally do - if I walk out the door, I have to go out first (and the other way around). On walks, I have to lead and the puppy has to be behind or beside me. If I get bit or nipped, I yelp , walk away and ignore the pup (basically if he doesn't play nice, no one will play with him). At eating time, I eat first, and they must demonstrate "calm-submissiveness" before I give food.

The only thing I haven't done is do the 45-minute power-walk in the morning before they eat. Tricky, given the weather around here. But you know what? I've tried all of the above when he woke up from his morning nap, and I think it's been an angel afternoon. The biting has gone down, no accidents (yet), and best of all.....he's sleeping right now in the den!

Gotcha!

Day 7 - so far the "good poo"/"good pee" praise plus treat is working okay. He had a couple of accidents today but because we were not looking. And he's learned to go up and down *all* of the stairs...just not down them yet. And it was a good night - he had gone to bed with no fuss at 11:45 pm and woke up at 6:15-ish (he just sat there looking)....no whining this time! And only pee on the paper too!

I moved the pen to my den, but he's not taking to it as well as he did when it was in the hall. He doesn't want to stay in it at all....now he's asleep and I put him in with the door open. Let's see if he will stay in this time. He normally stays a couple of hours on end in the pen before I moved it.

I've also started to keep a log of when he woke up, what time he eats, and what time he goes. Maybe I'll see a pattern to his biological clock.

Speaking of clocks, I have a 2:00 meeting to get ready for. In the meantime, I managed to snag a photo just before he fell asleep. Gotcha!

Puppy training - Day 6

Today the puppy is training me to give him treats when he is quiet....oh, I'm sorry - is it meant to be the other way around?

Finnegan seems to have developed a little aversion to responding to "outside" since yesterday. He also had a couple of "accidents" indoors, esp. when we are not looking. That tells me that he is not enjoying his trips outdoors. So this morning, I'm developing a new routine:

- Make sure I always have treats in my pocket.
- Say "outside" while putting on leash.
- Carry him to one specific spot outside....this will be the very same spot I will take him to every time.
- *While* he is piddling/pooing, I will say "good poop!" over and over again, and *immediately* give him a treat and make a big happy fuss no more than 2 seconds after he is done.
- Go immediately back inside and play with him for a few minutes.

Overall, the above will help him associate "good times" when he does things outside. Hopefully this will help him get used to the leash and he will soon walk to that spot on his own without having to carry him.

What all the websites says are true - constant vigilance is the key here. Let's see over the next few days if the situation improves. Now I have to read up on all that biting stuff.....

Finnegan!

Boy, has it been a hectic 4 days! We finally got our baby, Finnegan the beagle! No pics yet 'coz the stooopid network wizard still won't let me connect to my hubby's 'puter. Oh well. Here's a little rundown of things that had happened:

Day 1 (Dec 8) - Picked baby up from the breeder. Was a tough choice with all the cute pups but boiled it down to two. Our Finny won the lottery 'coz he seemed to come back to us more often. Also, he looks more like the classic beagle. On way home, he was good for 1 hour but started throwing up in the next. But he saw the paper on the floor and made a poo there....which means he's retained his paper training! He was all trembly the first night, and pretty much kept us awake all night. Finally.....

Day 2 - ....got up at 5 am to take him out. He went 5 times in an hour (3 were successfully done outside). Crate training formally begun! He seemed less tense and cuddled with us a lot. There were a couple of "accidents" but then again we were also starting to learn to how to read the signs. Auntie Junn paid a visit. More whining at bed time.

Day 3 - More 5 am madness. There was poo this time around in the crate. We tried to put him back right after he did his business so we can grab one more hour, but then he poo'd some more! So we decided to stay up. More crate training, but he was good the whole day! Auntie M. (Mike) and the rest of the aunties (Errick and Abel) came by. I think poor Finny was wiped out after 'coz he was so quiet the rest of the night....although a bit of nipping has begun....We also tried the breeder's suggestion of putting paper in the back half of the crate overnight so he won't be as whiny. But we kept the crate at half-size during the day.

Day 4 - So far the paper-in-crate-overnight thing worked....we got more sleep! We also got an e-mail from the breeder today saying that it will be a while that the pup will eliminate at night...and to wake up when *we* need to (not when the pup whines at 5 am). Today we tried out the pen on the second floor for the first time since we were working from home. He seemed to be okay with it - stayed for at least a couple of hours without a fuss. Crate training was somewhat done since the pen kinda made up for it (I guess). But he was more quiet at night. He peed on the couch though....maybe we misread the signs again. But the good news is that he slept longer! We also started using the leash 'coz he almost got away through a gap in the fence. Humping also started....the battle for dominance begins!

Day 5 - Which brings us to day. We got up at 6 am....he whined maybe twice overnight but overall the paper-in-crate-overnight thing seems to be a good method for now. He's also taken to the pen today, except one time I got downstairs too late when he woke up and he peed as I was putting my shoes on. When he is in the pen upstairs, it is *absolutely key* to take him outside as soon as he wakes up (by this I mean he actually gets up as opposed to just opening his eyes). He peed every single time.

*whew* We love him lots though :) I kinda feel out-of-sorts today 'coz I'm just consumed by worry....worry about what he steps on outside, what he eats, etc. etc.....I just hope we're doing right by him.

Oh, how the mighty.....

There was a time when I had lead roles in community theatre (one of which was a musical to boot!)......but now, I can see it on my resume: "Professional Plant". I've done this once for a certain awards show and now for a play (both of which will remain unnamed or else it will spoil the illusion should people google them on the web). Oh well, I'm still waiting for that McDonald's moment...you know, like when this famous Filipino actor was discovered working in McDonald's and has since catapaulted into Filipino superstardom. (Of course, granted I'll never have the looks or the body to go with it, but I'm sure there must be a role for an average-looking Filipino guy somewhere!).

I've finally finished putting up our Christmas decorations! Someday I'll be able to post pictures but suffice it to say it looks nice. Take my word for it. Finally got the two things I really wanted - a Filipino parol (lantern) and reindeer! Yes - one of them moves!!

Puppy comes in one week. One week!!! I can't wait to for Finnegan to make himself at home. I just feel bad for those nice leather slippers that my hubby gave me a few Christmases ago......

Well, it's a lazy Saturday. I'm gonna do some comic book sorting then head on out for my coz Alvin's birthday and my niece Valerie as well. My, has she grown. Check this link out: www.valerie-rodriguez.com.

On more materialistic matters:
- Sold some anime box sets on eBay
- Saved $100 on the Six Feet Under box set by getting it from deepdiscoutdvd.com, so I returned my box to HMV and spent the savings on.....
- A limited edition Da Vinci Code DVD box set from Amazon Japan (I know, Mr. Hanks was somewhat wooden in this one, but at least I get the extended edition for 25 more minutes for Tom Hanks fun)
- And finally spent the remainder of my mad money and gift cards I got for my birthday on the limited edition Alias DVD box set.
- Oh, yeah...I spent the last of my Chapters gift cards (thank you Air Miles!!!) on the 14-disc Superman Ultimate DVD box set....which sadly they tell me is still ETA TBD from the vendor. Oh well.

Okay...now on to my comic book retreat.....

Hello again!

Now *that's* a long absence. I thought I'd have time to write in this thing everyday but as usual, life steps in. So months later, here we go again. What has happened since then? Lessee...

• Became a co-presenter at the Dora awards and did a musical number...both with a group and a solo! Mind you, the "solo" part was totally unexpected.
• Got myself one of those darned iPods.
• Celebrated our first year wedding anniversary! We went to Gananoque and won enough at the casino to pay for the whole weekend away!
• Put a deposit down on a beagle pup....born October 7, so we should get him early December.
• Got a new dual-core 3.0 'puter (the old one just choked and died. Thanks Nortel for the memories!!!) and an all-in-one printer. Both of them are HP.
• Hubby got promoted to Director! (No, I can't stay home yet.)
• Got four projects at work going at the same time.
• Celebrated our friend Errick's 40th birthday!
• Currently re-organizing the basement.

And that brings me to today. Ikea is a life-saver. Gorm rocks!! Now we can actually use our cold storage room for something. Of course, the basement is a total mess at the moment and I definitely have to get this done soon....the family's coming over for a birthday din-din on Saturday.

Oh, did I mention I had the couch steam-cleaned? I also bought three picture frames for my movie posters. I think we're headed for a basement mini-makeover!

The hubby is in Vegas half of this week....so feeling kinda blue but at the same time glad that he gets to go to places that he's never been. Oh well, maybe he'll win big at the casino and *then* we could both stay home!

So.....down to the basement we go again! I'll probably surface in a coupla hours. If I am so inclined, I might even take a picture! (and then hear people say...."is that it?!?")

...and of course in true Murphy's law fashion the phone rings. "Hello? Hello?" I sez but there's no answer. Hmp. Betcha it's one of those autodialers that dial the house to make sure that someone is home so they know when to call the next time. Sneaky, sneaky. I did a reverse lookup and natch, no name attached (but the provider is Allstream). So betcha I'm right.

So...okay....down we go again......

Pellet Review: Bewitched

I know this has been out for a while, but from all the other reviews it got, we deemed this to be cable-on-demand quality. And you know what? From that perspective, it was okay. The movie is what it looks like when 3 Academy Award winners (Nicole Kidman, Michael Caine, and Shirley Maclaine) decide to take it easy for a while. Seriously - no acting chops here, which was okay. The movie didn't need it, it was meant to be fun, and it was. We had turned it on with the understanding that if it sucked, we can always pause it and continue the next day. But it was entertaining enough that we stuck with it until a little past midnight.

Recommended if you just want something to chill out by.

Our new garden!!

Yes, I know, it's a little patch of land. But it's the fruit of a weekend's worth of labour. And besides...it's our first attempt at landscaping!!! I'd say it's not too shabby :D

But of course, let's check back in a couple of months to see how it goes.

What's in there, you ask? In clockwise order, starting from the inner left...an emerald cedar, a *new* garden wall with impatiens, 3 boxwoods, a japanese maple, a purpleleaf sandcherry surrounded by dusty millers and those little white flower thingies. In the center we have 2 spiraeas. Some rocks and garden lights are also in there. One of these days I'll probably take a nighttime shot. Now, if only we can get rid of those bags......

Random Thoughts 2

Can I be any closer to being Superman?

In your arms, I am invulnerable.
In your kiss, I take flight.
In your honesty, I can see through your very soul.
In your smile, am I not a step away from the sun?

I breathe in your joy, and in it I feel strong.
You electrify me with your touch, and yet I still stand.
I hear music when there is none to be heard.
When I close my eyes, am I not wherever you are?

Lying down with you, each moment seems to crawl.
Are we moving too fast as the world comes to a stop?
Every second with you seems like eternity.
In those seconds, I feel immortal.

I need not come from another world.
Nor do I need to wear a cape, or reds, or blues.
All I need to be is here.
All I need to have is you.

Pellet Review: The Da Vinci Code

Hm.

While I was watching the movie, I tried my best to forget that I have read the book so that I can experience it as if I was one of many moviegoers who might see what the fuss is all about for the first time. An hour-and-a-half into it, I still found myself intrigued and transfixed, wondering what the next revelation will be. By two hours, I was starting to look at my watch. After two hours-and-a-half, I came to the conclusion that I really would not have appreciated this movie without having read the book to begin with.

The book itself was fast-paced - each revelation and cliff-hanger came in very fast (and short) bursts and really propelled the book along. Of course, the book had the luxury of not having a two-hour-and-a-half constraint. The movie, on the other hand, had to cut out a whole whack of the puzzle-solving - which was the fun thing about the book. What made it on screen, therefore, was a watered-down version of the mystery, preserving only the key plot points.

My hubby and I agreed that everyone else was cast perfectly. Tom Hanks, on the other hand....whatever we each visualized as Robert Langdon in our minds, Tom Hanks wasn't it. Marc suggested Pierce Brosnan. I thought Ralph Fiennes (or his younger brother Joseph) would have done it. Of course, barring their accents - but I think both of them managed to pull off an American role in the past. If you ask me, Tom Hanks seemed to be sleepwalking through the movie.

At any rate, if you want to see what the controversy and the fuss is all about, by all means, go! Knowing myself, I'd probably buy the DVD anyway just because. But just bring your expectations down - despite what the trailer shows, this is not a chase movie. This one has a lot of talking heads.

Save me, Britney!

Sometimes the music you listen to on your way to work sets the mood for the rest of the day. I've had a few times where there was absolutely nothing on the radio and I spend my 45-minute drive to Mississauga listening to chatter or music that just does nothing for me (or actually depress me). When the music is right, though, I am so glad to be driving my own private karaoke booth.

Guilty pleasure: when nothing on the radio is on, my Britney CD becomes a last resort. There's a few songs in there that are fast n' funky and really such a joy to lip-sync. But it certainly helps salvage an otherwise-depressing drive into work.

On my personal top 10 this month: "Afterglow" by INXS. Natasha Bedingfield's "Unwritten" is still up there.

Connected

"We are connected....in time, in space and by feeling...."

The above was from a song we recently sang in our concert, and this is what's in my head as I write this.

Consider - everything that happens in our lives could have had so many different outcomes. One path we may have taken branches out into a different reality that is created based on that path. And that path branches out into other realities. So in theory, there are an infinite number of realities that co-exist with ours at this very moment.

Well - what if all the people around us are manifestations of these realities? Ever looked at someone and told yourself "That could've been me"? Thing is, you may be right. Just think, maybe all it might take is one bad day - one bad hour or moment - and your life may be exactly like this other person's.

If you look at the people around you, you could even say "that could've been me if I had been....." Been born a month earlier? Been born a woman (or man)? Been born into money? So many possibilities here.

Maybe we are all one person, but just manifested as different outcomes of all the infinite possibilities that could've happened to us. So, when you look at someone and see yourself looking back at you, well.....maybe it is.

I want to be Counselor Troi!

If you don't know who Counselor Troi is....SHAME!!!

Well, maybe not. Ex-Trek people like myself seems to think that everyone should know all of the Star Trek Next Gen characters like Kirk or Spock (I say "Ex-Trek" because my viewing habits have slid partway through DS9 and Voyager....and none at all for Enterprise).

But for the uninitiated, Counselor Troi is a member of the command crew who is an empath (someone who can feel or sense other people's feelings). So natch, she spends a lot of her time saying "I can sense in you". Really, she says that in almost all episodes to the point where one asks what does she really do for a living on the starship. I mean, she sees Captain Picard looking out the window with a frown and she says "I can sense turmoil within you, Captain." So can we.

So why the heck do I want to be like her?

Well, there was this one episode where she had to be tested as part of her promotion to Lieutanant Commander. This test involved passing a simluation where she was in command of a ship that was in big trouble (as in if-we-don't-do-something-about-the-antimatter-imbalance-in-the-engine-we-will-all-die kind of trouble). Suffice it to say she failed again and again as she tried different solutions.

Problem was, her 'solutions' all avoided the one thing she absolutely had to do in order to save the ship - though she didn't know it at the time because it was not in her nature to do. It was out of her sphere of experience. However, the moment she went outside her comfort zone, she passed the test because she did what she had to do.

The solution? She had to order one of the crew - the Chief Engineer - to go and fix the problem down in the engine room even though she knew that it was going to cost him his life. And even though he was her friend, she did what she had to do.

Man, I gotta watch that episode again.

So what does this have to do with me? Well, I had a small heart-to-heart talk with my boss a couple of weeks ago, and - in a nutshell - he told me I'm too nice of a guy. Someone in my position has to be tougher - not rude, mind you (or else HR will get me) - but someone who will need to do what needs to be done. People just seem to get the impression that they can tell me whatever they want and I will bend.

Funny thing is, I've been told the same thing in my personal life. That I never really say what's on my mind, or offer my opinion and stick to it even if it's in conflict with someone else's.

Definitely outside my comfort zone. As a person, I just want to be able to make everyone happy and I am so averse to conflict. And some people will tell me that's unavoidable.

But that's why I want to be like Counselor Troi! I want to be able to have my own epiphany one day and wake up being a stronger person than I am today.

Now, is that the blue pill or the red?

Sex and Relationships Part 1.5

And I say Part 1.5 because I don't have time to write a full-fledged article on the nature of sex and relationships - this is a follow-up to an earlier post ("On a gray day...") where I talked about how sex may not be a goal of a relationship. Well, guess what - read an article today (I forget where) about how men and women view sex and relationships differently. Basically, men apparently have sex as a goal in the relationship, i.e., in order to a relationship to be good, there must be good sex. Women, on the other hand, value the relationship side of it more, i.e., if the relationship is good, then there will be good sex.

Now, upon seeing this, it makes me wonder about the dynamics of gay people like myself. Obviously, there are some people who are like the males while others are the females. So, I suppose it's not really a nature-versus-nurture thing, seeing as this dynamic also exists among ourselves.

As I said, I'd write more, but I have a set of window blinds to put up. Perhaps more next time :)

Pellet Review - The Chronicles of Narnia (The Lion, The Witch...oh, you know which one!)

So continues the trend of really long movie titles ("Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" anyone? Of course there's always "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King"....Let me just give kudos to the upcoming remake of the "The Poseidon Adventure", now just called "Poseidon".)

Based on a children's book series, this first adaptation (of maybe seven) gets off to a promising start. Of course, there are parts of the plot where I can see a few things coming (what do you expect - it's a children's book!) but what I find fascinating is the maybe not-so-obvious parallels it is trying to draw between certain aspects of Christianity (namely Jesus and his sacrifice and subsequent resurrection). Granted, naming the eldest child (translated: first apostle) Peter kind of gets the message across, but I think when Alsan the Lion King (he he he) said "It is finished" I think the message gets delivered point blank.

Just out of curiosity, I did surf the 'net and sure enough, there are forums galore regarding this subject. Imagine that.

It's a fantastic movie to look at, though. The CGI animation is nothing short of amazing and it is truly leaps and bounds from the first CGI talking-animal flick I've ever seen ("Babe"). Sound-wise, though, I'm not sure if it's my settings or the actual audio mastering (or is it that Brit accent) but the dialogue seemed faint - I was afraid of turning it up for fear of having some big explosion scene coming up and thereby scaring my poor mom witless.

Recommended.

Random Thoughts

Can I move within this silence and not disturb my sleeping heart?
The mind turns to the comfort of insignificant things,
Yet the spirit longs to be disturbed by those who know it.

Connect with me, then, through these hands that hold nothing
And free these stifled mumurs of a soul that seeks no bounds
As it declares to the world its intent to be discovered
By all, by one, but never by none.

I cannot move within this silence and not disturb
For truly there is no silence to be found here.

Then my eyes soak in the sight of you not unlike a thirst unquenched
Many years did this drought stay with me - or were they days or moments?
But like a mirage does everything else fade away
These mad world sounds around me turn to whispers.

And just as I strain to hear what they say, you touch me
The universe stands still
All is quiet, all at rest
Silence. Like a song that reached its end.

Finally, it is within this silence
That my sleeping heart awakes.

Pellet Reviews (Combined): Mirrormask / The Island / A.I.

We still haven't gone to a "real" movie in a while - but I managed to get my hands on a "free" pass to Mission Impossible 3 so at least I know we'll be going in the next month (expiry date and all).

What we have watched here at home of late is "Mirrormask", "The Island", and "A.I.". Not really enough time to write individual reviews so here goes....

Mirrormask - Damn if this thing doesn't look good on the big screen. Really dazzling and creative visuals. But after watching it for a while, it does tend to get a bit tiring, meaning visual overload. Too much of a good thing perhaps. But the story is somewhat ordinary - teenage girl runs into a real-life crisis and retreats into dreamworld where things get (somewhat) resolved....although the narrative does not spell it out that way. But still a good showcase for home theatre. I remember one scene where giants fell out of the sky, and I swear I *felt* the air being displaced as they came down with a huge THUD.

The Island - Great concept, good action flick to watch. A great popcorn movie, therefore not genre-redefining. Another good one for the home theatre.

A.I. - As always with Steven Spielberg, this is a beauty to watch. A bit sad/bittersweet though. Not sure if the kiddies can appreciate this, but it does pull at the heartstrings as the story addresses a universal longing in all of us - the need to be loved by someone. And the affirmation of it. What it shows us is sometimes, what we think we want is not necessarily so. In the story, the main character thought what he wanted is to become a real boy so that he can be loved. What he learns in the end, well, I won't spoil the ending for those who haven't seen it. But I had to reach for a tissue. So there.

If I were a government employee....

...do I get a 10% discount off my tax owing this year? As a bank employee, I get really good benefits like discounted rates and all that. But I'm owing quite a bit of money this year to the government and the thought crossed my mind. Something like "government employees get a 50% discount if they pay their tax owing before April 1st".

Working from home today but I'm planning to step out to go to the bank to pay up. That's why this crossed my mind. Just really lucky that my bank is right around the corner - so convenient.

We finished painting the main floor of our house this week and I gotta say that it looks great (short of a few touch-ups here and there). I think we'll take a break from doing house work and do some fun stuff (like shopping for furniture). We're celebrating the hubby's birthday here with my family on May 13, so we're hoping to have the place in good shape for visitors by then.

Well, leaving in a few minutes. Then I better get some real work done.

On a gray day.....

6:15 p.m.

Just waiting for my friends to show up. Tonight is card night and they are coming here to (hopefully) give me more money. Once again, the hubby is away on business, and I gotta say that it really sucks coming home knowing that I'll be going to bed alone again. That's why I keep myself busy, so that I'll be so tired that once I hit the sack I really won't notice that I'm sleeping alone.

Random thought: I don't mind pots calling kettles black, as long as the pots own up to being what they are.

I have meant to celebrate my 1000th hour on CPAP a couple of weeks ago. Celebrate you say? How can that be a celebration? Well, consider that 1000 hours = 142 nights of sound sleep (on an average of 7 hours of sleep a night). Now really, isn't that cause to be happy? For all you folks considering whether a CPAP machine is worth it, yes it is!! If I'm on the machine, I sleep straight through - no half-waking up at various times in the wee hours of the morning. I mean a straight, solid sleep. Plus, the hubby gets to sleep all the way thru too! None of that snoring anymore!

(Granted, spontaneity suffers a bit, but I think we've matured enough in our relationship to know how to plan around it. Besides, not everything is about *that*.)

So someone asked me before (who shall remain nameless and if you are reading this, you know who you are) if one can consider sex being the goal of a relationship. Personally, sex lends a lot to the growth of a relationship (especially in its early stages), but one will have to consider that in a life partnership, there will come a time when one or both will not be as - say - virile as they are in youth. So if sex was a huge, huge part of the foundation, then you can imagine that if that is taken out of the equation then you may find yourselves one day looking at each other with nothing to talk about.

I'm not saying that sex is not important. It is! But it is also important to establish a solid emotional and mental foundation so that you will have other things to connect with each other as time passes. And in a way, this internal connection is so much harder to work on than the physical part....and if you don't start on this earlier in the relationship, then really there is not a huge chance of the relationship surviving much later in life.

But that's just me. Now, for you lucky bastards who still have hot sex in their 70's without the assistance of Viagra, you will have to tell me your secret so I can start training. Yeah, right, like I know anyone in that age range who I would be familiar enough with to have that conversation.

See, this is what happens when you stay indoors on a gray day like today. I gotta get out more.

Pellet Review - Saved!

"If God wanted us to all be the same, why did He make us different?"

Certainly one of the many words of wisdom that struck home near the end of the movie. Sure, it might be on the lighter side of "wisdom", but there were a few truths there. For those who are not familiar with the movie, "Saved!" is about a group of young 'uns who attend a Christian school, with the focus on one girl who wants to "save" her boyfriend from being gay. Ah, there's the hook right there for yours truly.

There were a lot of funny moments too ("I am FILLED with Christ's love!!!" one character yells as she throws a bible at her friend). But you really have to be in an open frame of mind to watch this movie...if you are anything like the character I mentioned, then you might be throwing the DVD player. And that's not good. Really.

Suffice it to say it was a feel-good movie (for us anyway). As far as sound and vision is concerned, since it's not the kind of big-screen movie that demands good visuals and rockin' sound, then they were all right by us.

Plus, it's good to see that Macaulay Culkin is still alive.

Pellet Review - Corpse Bride

Did I forget to mention that we watched Corpse Bride last night? At home, natch. I still feel spoiled watching a movie at home eating home-made popcorn. Anyways.....

All in all, the movie is good, I felt it was somewhat slow in the beginning but definitely started to pick up once the Corpse Bride made her appearance. Wonderful voice performances all around, but as usual, Johnny Depp made the character come to life (pun intended). Of course it helps that the claymation guy looked and acted like him, but it still takes a certain skill to pull it off.

As always, the animation is good, considering the amount of work that must've gone in. Of course, it's probably not for everyone (some of us may feel that this style is somewhat dated) but it's a pretty good romp for those who do appreciate it.

Sound-wise....it could be my system, or the DVD, but I strained to hear some of the conversation. Couldn't quite make out what some of the lyrics were, but as I bumped the volume up later on, it wasn't so much of an issue. Other than the dialogue, the sound was good.

Overall, it was a little feel-good movie which had enough twisted humour that shouldn't scare away the wee ones. That is, if neon-green dancing skeletons are their thing. This one didn't win the Oscar for Best Animated flick, though - it went to Wallace and Gromit (guess which one I want to buy next!) I also want to watch Howl's Moving Castle (the other nominated flick)...it's by Miyazaki, so I guess I can't really go wrong with that one. I'll keep y'all posted!

Project woes (and whoa's)

2:38 p.m.

Got the word today that my close-to-a-million dollar project is being put on indefinite hiatus. Be careful what I wish for? I wanted the project to be done and over with, but (whoa!) this was somewhat unexpected. Of course the joys of being project manager now kick in full steam (risk mitigation! risk contingency execution!). Of course this impacts two other projects I'm looking after, but I think I need time to digest. My personality type says so. So there.

And today was my first day to "communicate" the news to other employees and its impact in a people-manager capacity. I suppose this skill will improve over time, but hopefully it won't be over not-so-good news like this one.

Well, I suppose it is good news. There was trouble in paradise in the beginning, I think, so better to stop this now than burn in production hell later. Sad thing was, our stream was going so well. But hey, that's life for you.

So that dinner at Le Petit D. tonight....methinks I will partake of some wonderful bubbly to help decompress. And maybe test out the karaoke set-up at home tonight? (Hard to believe me and the gang used to go out at least weekly for a karaoke-fest. Good times....)

Happy 4th (again!!)

4:40 p.m.

Well, last night didn't really go as planned. Le Petit Dejeuner was closed due to a power problem...making this the 4th or 5th time we've planned to have dinner there and it just wasn't meant to be (other times there was a private function, they closed early, they weren't open for dinner that night). Considering that the 15th is the 4th anniversary of our first date, then we will try again tomorrow night. The schedule says they're open until 10 p.m., so at least we won't feel rushed.

Today felt like a blah day. Interestingly enough, I had some pre-work to do for "Managers Making Connections", a course for (you guessed it) Managers. In there was a self-assessment checklist, asking what my motivations are. And unsurprisingly enough, I'm a "go-to-work-for-paycheck" kinda guy. Surprisingly, this is supposed to be indicative of stress. Hmm. And here I thought that having that kind of detached attitude is supposed to help diffuse stress.

Looking forward to a quiet night.

7:06 p.m.

How to make a happy song happier? Make it faster!! I got my CD-Single of "Seasons of Love" tonight and it has a few good mixes. I will listen to it on the way to work tomorrow, but for those who wonder what it sounds like, check out www.amazon.ca and look up the disc. There are track samples there.

Speaking of the song, do you know how happy I was to sing it at the concert? Also, I was doing my Gollum impression during the Bagatelle. Don't ask.

I'm so glad that someone actually heard it over the speakers. I'll definitely try and keep my ears open when we get our DVD. Can't wait. Precioussss DVD....yesssss......

Happy 4th!!!

2:00 p.m.

Today Marc and I are celebrating our 4th anniversary :D

Lives changed since then - no doubt Marc's and mine did (English majors feel free to correct this) - but I wonder if any other life was changed since then. Not to be ego-centric here, but I would like to think that maybe because of our meeting - and all the things that have happened since - we have changed some people's perspectives on live and love and all that wonderful jazz.

Just out of curiousity, I also looked up IMDB.com to see if anything of note popped up. Well, we share the date with Neil Sedaka's and William H. Macy's birthdays....

I also don't remember it raining this hard last year, too.

So, tonight we plan to have a quiet dinner at Le Petit Dejuener - one of our fave places to have brunch. They also served a wonderful dinner a while back, truly delicious. We've only done it once, since it was a bit on the expensive side, so what better reason to go back? Then, we were going to the Rainbow Cinema to catch a movie, but now that we have a home theatre, there's not much motivation to spend money on a non-blockbuster. So - movie night at home, with a bottle of bubbly, a nice blanket, fresh-made popcorn (did I forget to mention I got a popcorn maker from Marc for Christmas?) All is right with the world.

Divisible-by-3 day!!

12:17 p.m.

Ah...only geeks like myself would think about something like this. Today is March 9, 2006. Or 09/03/06. All divisible by 3. Or, if you prefer, zero day (since 09 minus 03 minus 06 is zero). Or whatever. Point is, I had to put a title on this post and this is the only thing I can think of.

So Rev. Dr. Brent Hawkes and his 25-year-long partner John Sproules finally tied the knot on March 7, 2006. There was media coverage by City TV, Global, CTV, CBC....but it was rarely a splash when Marc and I rushed home to see if anything had come up. Only a little ticker text on Pulse 24, and a segment from Global TV (yey, we could see the top of our heads!). But nothing else. Today, I did a google and sure enough, there was an article in the National Post.

I guess it was just as well. Perhaps equality had come far enough where this is really just one of the many weddings that happen now? Or maybe the media was hoping for something really out of the ordinary to happen...something newsworthy? Well, from where I was sitting, all I saw was two people who have loved each other all these years, and finally celebrated it with move love, laughter, and the support of the community which had almost filled the church that evening. There was wonderful music (hey, can you expect nothing less?) and words of wisdom that were both funny and yet so full of truth. It was wonderful to see Brent go through the same things a lot of us did, but mostly to see him hand over the wheels to someone else. We backseat drivers know how that feels.

Should it have been more newsworthy? Should Brokeback Mountain have won the Oscar? While we as rainbow people certainly think that it should be front and centre in a lot of cases, perhaps we should just appreciate the significance of how far we have come. After all, these were things that would've been swept under the carpet not so long ago. While we are not the centrepiece of the universe, we have certainly earned the right to have a seat at the table.

On another note entirely......

Today's news says that the Lord of the Rings musical is now ready for its worldwide premiere. Reviewers are now welcome to critique, praise, deconstruct, do what it is they do. Apparently the show has now been shortened and tightened up, and that triple-interlocking turntable in the centre has been working glitch-free.

Personally, I felt like I was watching the whole movie trilogy on the stage (yes, there were three acts and two intermissions...although we had an unscheduled third intermission when said turntable got stuck). The songs were kinda few and far between; there was music where it made sense, but there didn't seem to be any catchy ones. Hopefully by tightening up the pace it would make it seem more of a musical. The elf queen song is the one to watch out for, though. That, and the big-ass dragon that pops out at the end of Act One.

And on another note again (if I don't watch it, I will wind up going up a whole scale):

Another highlight in our European tour was our visit to the Pantheon. We were fortunate enough to be there when a German mass was being celebrated, and there was a choir. I tell you, the acoustics of the place was so incredible...closing my eyes while listening to the choir transported me to another place and time. I have no words to describe the feeling. Naturally, I thought about the MCC Choir and wondered how we'd sound like in there. Of course, I haven't seen pigs flying past my window yet, so.....

This memory came about when we had dinner with Mike last night, where he talked about his trip with Jean to San Fo and other places with other people. Invariably our conversation turned toward life and death and what it all really means. It is said that coming into life and leaving it are certainly hard, but it's the transition in between that is the hardest. But what is it we fear when we are close to the end? Do we fear loneliness? Certainly, for folks like us, we will only have our partners and friends to care for us and remember us in the end. True, some people say that there will be relatives to help out....personally, though, as much as I would like them to visit me on my birthday and such, I cannot imagine asking the next generation to care for me. They will have their own lives, and of course they will have their own parents to worry about. Certainly I cannot expect them to tend for me since I have not been there for their whole lives to do the same for them. So treasure your partners, and never call your friends "just friends", because really all we will have is each other as time goes by.

What do I fear? Is it the unknown? I think back to the time when I came close to thinking about my own mortality when I was facing down someone at knifepoint. Granted, my mind then had taken over my emotions, trying to see how I can get out of the situation. But I do remember more defiance than fear - I did not want anything to get in the way of living my life. There were things that I still needed to do, things that need to be said....and I was not willing to take it lying down.

What if I was faced with a similar situation today? Granted, I will still face the unknown, and it scares me a little. But I take comfort in the fact that people I loved have gone ahead - friends and family - and I have hope that they will be there to give me the guided tour once I cross over. But what scares me the most is the loss of opportunity - I simply am not ready to go. I still have things to do, things to say, people to love. And I am afraid of leaving without people knowing what all these things are. Perhaps that is why I yearn to be bigger than what I am - I fear being forgotten, of people not knowing who I am, of them knowing why I am the way I am. I yearn to be understood even after I am gone, so that people will not ask questions and fill in the blanks with wrong answers. I am afraid of being remembered the wrong way.

What does it matter if I'm gone, you may ask? I guess it matters to the people I will leave behind, and they matter to me a lot. Always have. Just think, if there is truly nothing after death, if death is truly final, then all we have are the stories that we leave behind for other people to tell. We fear the loss of our immortality...and perhaps that is why a lot of us choose to belive in life after death.

I'm sure there is. I'm just not sure how.


2:50 p.m.

Now that the choir has sung "Seasons of Love", here's another song that I wish we would sing. I heard this twice on the radio already, and it's very uplifting. I might actually buy the album :)
http://www.lyricstop.com/albums/natashabedingfield/unwritten.html

Hello 2006 (in March?!?)

3:29 p.m.

Yep, that's right. I said "Hello 2006". As you can see, quite a bit of time has passed by since my last post. Let's see if I can recap all the important stuff that's happened since then.....

Honeymoon in Europe - a wonderful experience! Would certainly do that again, but I think I'll skip over that part where gypsies tried to rob me. It's a complicated story that requires visual cues to explain how they wanted to pull it off, but needless to say I kinda saw it coming and I hip-chucked the "pregnant" girl who tried to push me into her accomplice's waiting hands. Really gay moment right there - my thanks to all the people who tried to teach me how to dance.
(Then again, maybe I won't skip that part.) Anyway, it was magical to say the least. My personal favourite moments are:
- watching the Eiffel tower light show at night, crepe and espresso in hand, sitting with the hubby in the plaza.
- being serenaded by an opera tenor on a gondola, full moon and clear skies, going in and around Venice, sitting with the hubby in a boat.
- having an orchestra and soloist in the Piazza de San Marco (St. Mark's square) play "Happy Birthday" for me, champagne in hand, sitting with the hubby.
- eating truffle ice cream (THE BEST IN THE WORLD BAR NONE - worth the 10 euros per bowl) at night sitting by the beach on the French Riviera, the sound of waves lapping on the shore, hubby sitting by my....well, you're starting to get it, don't you?

There's tons more wonderful moments, but perhaps I'll share them over time.

As soon as we got back, we got to the business of packing up. Boxes upon boxes upon boxes....our social lives took a little hit then because we really had too much stuff and too little time to do it in. But finally, November 26 came and we hauled our stuff over....twice!! One trip from Public Storage, and two more from our old place. The biggest challenge? Getting the sectional down to the basement. After a few short-tempered moments, we were able to get the thing down there with a bit of McGyver-ism (otherwise known as let's-unscrew-the-stair-rail-so-we-can-have-the-half-inch-we-need).

Think that's it? Well, Marc had to leave the next day for Australia for 3 weeks. Which meant I had to unpack. I gotta tell you, after I put all our clothes up, I never ever wanted to buy another piece of clothing again. I looked at all my clothes and said to myself, "What the &^*& was I thinking?" Suffice it to say I still have no idea to this day how we managed to fill up a 2000-square-foot house coming from a 765-square-foot condo. And we were living comfortably in that condo to boot!

Christmas and New Year's came and went - I've been telling Marc that this was my favourite time of the year, but for some reason, this year I did not "feel" it. Somehow the magic wasn't there...I think the child in me went to sleep to rest after the big move. But in the midst of all the chaos and the unsettledness, I still found time to thank God for all the blessings that were given to us this year. That's what's important.

Finally, the latest big event was the choir concert. We rehearsed for a good two-and-a-half months to put on a concert and live CD recording over 3 nights in March. Yours truly was the ticket guy. Well, really, at first I was doing it to help out Mark (a dear friend of mine from the choir), but somehow it evolved. He was the original ticket guy, but somehow his role also evolved to Associate Producer (oooh). He sold close to a hundred tickets though, so in my mind, he's still ticket guy extraordinaire! I have to say that his enthusiasm and good spirits has been an inspiration to me through the whole process, as it always is any other time.

I gotta tell you, I'm still feeling the energy from that concert days after it was done. Truly it was a labour of love, but I think I appreciate it more this time around since I was part of the "Thursday Club" and I saw the amount of hard work and patience that it took to pull this all off. Up there on the choir loft, though, it wasn't any work during the performance. I was truly enjoying myself through the whole show, and actually got a couple of compliments on how animated and happy I was through it all. I hope I done Jeannie proud......

The wrap party was a blast! We got rid of a lot of the excess energy after that. I was so glad that Marc came and got to know some of the people I "work" with. They are really a lovely bunch.

So here we are, back in the good old grind. When I think back at everything that happened in the past few months, I have to say that it does feel strange having some down time (finally). Again, thoughts about life in general come creeping up as they normally do in quiet times like this. You know, the usual "is this all I am" stuff.

Sometimes I wonder if I am destined for something else other than what I am doing now. Of course, it is normal for all of us to aspire for greatness, but sometimes I wonder if that aspiration gets confused with sensing your destiny. Are we supposed to be something greater than what we are, or do we just feel like we should?

Then I remember some lyrics to a song (Oh *why* can't life be a musical where we can all just burst spontaneously into song? Why don't people jump up in the cafeteria singing "La Vie Boheme" on the tables?) It goes....."Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other road, no other way, no day but today."

And so I do.